Saturday, January 23, 2010
Actually my problem is that,I make promises to my self for very silly things and somtimes for the things which really matters.I tend to feel ki I m deceveing my self, I sense a feeling of perjurity. This word may seem like a hypocritic philosohpy but if I assess my self or if some 3rd person will analyse this thing he will find this word just an Euphimism,as I feel it.. I pretend to be happy in the front of the world but actually now-a-days i m in a quite adversity. I m not in pecuniary difficulties but i m in misfortune of my, my mental status . No body feels nor any body can feel what really the problem i m facing coz as i say i m a open book to be read and interpreted easily but now I feel ki i hav lot of things going inside my mind and to that,i m,also, hiding a lot of things from even my best friends,and,moreover when I tell them about myself,about my problems they sometimes don't take me seriously and reason being ki I my self have made such reflection in the front of them ki - dont ever take me seriously coz i m not serious any time.
My this attitude is making my personality very unclear and ambiguous to ME(not to my friends or persons who know me coz they feel ki i m what i show,but that is actually not ME.).Actually this whole situation is like (saying in my words) I am not what I am BUT I am what I am not.(Sauravology)
From today I m making a promise to my self(see,1ce again i m making promises,which actually is the root cause of my problems) ki I will try to change my self,actually i will not just try, i will, actualy,WILL........................